I wrote this for personal reasons because "ballerinas" just came up. I never wanted to be a ballerina after I heard about dancing on points. And broken toes and bloody feet. No thanks. Not my thing. But I don't think that was why I missed all the classes. I think they had other plans for me but it's all so long ago...
I wrote this because I've been reconnecting with my mother. I've even moved back to her home town where I walk the streets she walked on and live around the block from the house she grew up in. More than anything in my life this is bringing her out of the shadows. I finally see who she was and what she was up against...
It's a long involved story which I am unraveling, and because my family and I were so controlled, there is a lot to work through. Not just amnesia but also deception. I keep working on figuring out the How's and Why's-
And also I'm dealing with other players and their fears about discovery. From where I stand now, it seems we were all lied to and some of the lies are still active. A story got told that needs to be unraveled and exposed. And by undoing the personal bondage we'll liberate everyone that listened to the music because you all have heard the story whether you know it or not
I will be very surprised if you were not being passed around and abused by Free Masons. This opinion is based on nothing more than my own intuition. Jack the ripper was a Free Mason apparently and he was protected by fellow Masons. Have you ever researched this angle of MK-ultra ?
It would have been the literary crowd including Hugh MacLennan, DG Jones, Louis Dudek ... who were old men when I was in my 30s. They seemed to know me -- it was strange-- when somebody you don't remember knew you as a child, and they say things that don't make sense. Like "she's had a very interesting life" ... wink 😉
I don't have actual memories. So I'm going by deduction and guesswork - and also by things I was told or witnessed later. These older writers took an interest in what I was writing. My work would get into anthologies etc but I think they wanted to find out what I remembered which was just fragments. And yes all these men appeared to be Freemasons -
[ ] This is what a literary cult looks like. Based at McGill - where else? But also North Hatley QC, summer haunt of MKULTRA master spy chief Allen Dulles. Don't believe me? Ask Peter Dale Scott, “Coming to Jakarta” …
The leader of the cult was Frank Scott, renowned Canadian poet and civil rights defender, father of Peter Dale. You can read about Frank in Leonard Cohen's cringeworthy first novel, Ballet of Lepers. His wife, Marian, is mentioned by name, she who created the creepy “brain babies” frieze on the wall of the Montreal Neurological Institute in 1953. Yes, all of them were in bed together, united in covering up crimes against children -
Including blackmailer-in-chief Avi Boxer, the subject of a memoir by his wife Sarah Engelhardt - Sarah and Abraham: the stuttering poet and the search for miracles. Like his probable CIA mentor Sidney Gottlieb, Avi stammered. He also wrote poetry.
Poets make great patsies. Ask Leonard.
As for the cult: it hasn't quite died yet. It still has its Rhodes scholars and Ted Hughes idolators. Isn't it time they were exposed?
A couple of things: in the mid-90s a friend in Montreal, who was part of the literary scene there, told me Hugh MacLennan had asked her to introduce him to me. I was in my early 40s at the time- lots on my plate - he was an old man. I admired his novels, but I felt uneasy about meeting him. I never followed up.
A few years later (2000) when I moved to Kamloops as writer in residence I heard Anne Coleman had been there and had just finished her book. She was part of a women's writing circle who had read her early drafts and offered commentary. I haven't read her book, just a couple of reviews. I find them quite polite -
I went to Hugh MacLennan's memorial service at McGill a few years later - in November 1990. He died at 83. So I have the date wrong - it was probably in 1988 that he asked to meet me. I had just published a novel, Mona's Dance.
The person who delivered the eulogy was Douglas Gibson, his Toronto publisher, who a few years later (1994) would get me fired from the Gazette for writing an honest review of Robertson Davies' unreadable novel The Cunning Man. He called me a "Marxist" because I used the phrase "Canadian ruling class" --
I found 4 messages in my Spam box from someone called Reedmereedme (?) Not sure of the name because I deleted them by mistake. They seemed like gibberish but they were comments on my recent Substack posts
One of them said "I didn't invite you" .. this was re: The British Invasion ... So this might refer to my London visit in June 1963. No, "you" didn't invite me but someone did. I didnt fly myself over. My mother would never have let me travel alone especially not "uninvited". So it had to be the Air Force or someone she trusted as it was probably illegal and secret. I was never told anything and it appears they erased my memory so I wouldn't know what a dumb ordeal they had put me through. A fragment surfaced a few weeks later as a horrible black mood that came over me - I felt suicidal all of a sudden and told my mother "nobody loves me" and "my heart feels like it's turned to stone" -- neither of these statements made sense to me, but they felt totally true. My mother must have passed them on. To whom? I don't know but I would guess she told Dr Roper who might have told Andrew Oldham, who was at the time pushing Mick and Keith to write original material.
It's very coincidental that these phrases I uttered to my mom at our cottage in the summer of 1963 popped up a year later in two songs: Heart of Stone by the Rolling Stones and Tous les garçons by Francoise Hardy. You'd almost think someone handed them out as themes to the young songwriters. And both became hits unlike much of the other crap they were singing.
Sorry but thinking about this makes me angry.
I heard Heart of Stone in 1964 but never connected it to me. I knew who Francoise Hardy was but didn't really listen to her music.
So all this went over my head until very recently. I just had no idea i had ever met Mick or flown to London or anything - so being told I wasn't "invited" just adds another layer of irony.
I'm sure I made a fool of myself but I believe I was in my programmed "alter" who may have been acting as a prostitute or spy. I was 12, I had no clue what I was doing in London. They made me out to be older, ie at least 16. This would be very confusing for a child. Mick acted affectionate but the English will do that- they will pretend all sorts of things they don't really mean - thats why I hate the English to be honest. I probably got a dose of hypocrisy on that trip that has lasted me a lifetime.
Boom: home. Stun gun. Memory erased.
And then after my debriefing or whatever, I just went to sleep and they lied to me about the gift of the Mary Quant outfit pretending my mother had sewn it so I wouldn't ask questions or start to remember. What a mindfuck to play on a child. But that's what they did back then. In the name of National Security.
Message #2 on The Hollow White Cube - it said "you were 8??" Yes I was 8 in 1959. But I have no memory of the entire month. Maybe I spent it in a flotation tank in some laboratory. Or maybe I was being prostituted around Toronto. If so i might have worn makeup to make me look older. I'm sorry if you were tricked into having sex with an 8 year old girl. And later they probably blackmailed you- who knows? Maybe that's why you came to our house in 1965. I am guessing.
Then "Do you know Anastasia (name forgotten)? I love her". I don't know the Anastasia you mention.
And finally for Meet Leonard Cohen's Mystery Double, it said something like "we are totally in sync". Yes we are. As in "True Love" with Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly?
I think the person who wrote these messages is even more confused than I am. I'm sorry I deleted them but I think I captured the essence.
https://lareviewofbooks.org/article/hijack-the-cia-and-literary-culture/
I wrote this for personal reasons because "ballerinas" just came up. I never wanted to be a ballerina after I heard about dancing on points. And broken toes and bloody feet. No thanks. Not my thing. But I don't think that was why I missed all the classes. I think they had other plans for me but it's all so long ago...
I wrote this because I've been reconnecting with my mother. I've even moved back to her home town where I walk the streets she walked on and live around the block from the house she grew up in. More than anything in my life this is bringing her out of the shadows. I finally see who she was and what she was up against...
It's a long involved story which I am unraveling, and because my family and I were so controlled, there is a lot to work through. Not just amnesia but also deception. I keep working on figuring out the How's and Why's-
And also I'm dealing with other players and their fears about discovery. From where I stand now, it seems we were all lied to and some of the lies are still active. A story got told that needs to be unraveled and exposed. And by undoing the personal bondage we'll liberate everyone that listened to the music because you all have heard the story whether you know it or not
I will be very surprised if you were not being passed around and abused by Free Masons. This opinion is based on nothing more than my own intuition. Jack the ripper was a Free Mason apparently and he was protected by fellow Masons. Have you ever researched this angle of MK-ultra ?
It would have been the literary crowd including Hugh MacLennan, DG Jones, Louis Dudek ... who were old men when I was in my 30s. They seemed to know me -- it was strange-- when somebody you don't remember knew you as a child, and they say things that don't make sense. Like "she's had a very interesting life" ... wink 😉
I don't have actual memories. So I'm going by deduction and guesswork - and also by things I was told or witnessed later. These older writers took an interest in what I was writing. My work would get into anthologies etc but I think they wanted to find out what I remembered which was just fragments. And yes all these men appeared to be Freemasons -
I think it's possible if not likely
https://www.vehiculepress.com/chapbook/boxer/boxer.html
[ ] This is what a literary cult looks like. Based at McGill - where else? But also North Hatley QC, summer haunt of MKULTRA master spy chief Allen Dulles. Don't believe me? Ask Peter Dale Scott, “Coming to Jakarta” …
The leader of the cult was Frank Scott, renowned Canadian poet and civil rights defender, father of Peter Dale. You can read about Frank in Leonard Cohen's cringeworthy first novel, Ballet of Lepers. His wife, Marian, is mentioned by name, she who created the creepy “brain babies” frieze on the wall of the Montreal Neurological Institute in 1953. Yes, all of them were in bed together, united in covering up crimes against children -
Including blackmailer-in-chief Avi Boxer, the subject of a memoir by his wife Sarah Engelhardt - Sarah and Abraham: the stuttering poet and the search for miracles. Like his probable CIA mentor Sidney Gottlieb, Avi stammered. He also wrote poetry.
Poets make great patsies. Ask Leonard.
As for the cult: it hasn't quite died yet. It still has its Rhodes scholars and Ted Hughes idolators. Isn't it time they were exposed?
https://images.app.goo.gl/rRtNEzEeUSqZf9hSA
Re: the gang of literary pedophiles based in North Hatley, QC:
This memoir by Anne Coleman was nominated for a Governor General Award. Its about her relationship at age 14 with author Hugh MacLennan:
https://mcgillnews-archives.mcgill.ca/news-archives/2004/winter/coleman/index.html
A couple of things: in the mid-90s a friend in Montreal, who was part of the literary scene there, told me Hugh MacLennan had asked her to introduce him to me. I was in my early 40s at the time- lots on my plate - he was an old man. I admired his novels, but I felt uneasy about meeting him. I never followed up.
A few years later (2000) when I moved to Kamloops as writer in residence I heard Anne Coleman had been there and had just finished her book. She was part of a women's writing circle who had read her early drafts and offered commentary. I haven't read her book, just a couple of reviews. I find them quite polite -
https://mtlreviewofbooks.ca/reviews/ill-tell-you-a-secret-a-memoir-of-seven-summers/
I went to Hugh MacLennan's memorial service at McGill a few years later - in November 1990. He died at 83. So I have the date wrong - it was probably in 1988 that he asked to meet me. I had just published a novel, Mona's Dance.
https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hugh_MacLennan
The person who delivered the eulogy was Douglas Gibson, his Toronto publisher, who a few years later (1994) would get me fired from the Gazette for writing an honest review of Robertson Davies' unreadable novel The Cunning Man. He called me a "Marxist" because I used the phrase "Canadian ruling class" --
Speaking of Freemasons
I found 4 messages in my Spam box from someone called Reedmereedme (?) Not sure of the name because I deleted them by mistake. They seemed like gibberish but they were comments on my recent Substack posts
One of them said "I didn't invite you" .. this was re: The British Invasion ... So this might refer to my London visit in June 1963. No, "you" didn't invite me but someone did. I didnt fly myself over. My mother would never have let me travel alone especially not "uninvited". So it had to be the Air Force or someone she trusted as it was probably illegal and secret. I was never told anything and it appears they erased my memory so I wouldn't know what a dumb ordeal they had put me through. A fragment surfaced a few weeks later as a horrible black mood that came over me - I felt suicidal all of a sudden and told my mother "nobody loves me" and "my heart feels like it's turned to stone" -- neither of these statements made sense to me, but they felt totally true. My mother must have passed them on. To whom? I don't know but I would guess she told Dr Roper who might have told Andrew Oldham, who was at the time pushing Mick and Keith to write original material.
It's very coincidental that these phrases I uttered to my mom at our cottage in the summer of 1963 popped up a year later in two songs: Heart of Stone by the Rolling Stones and Tous les garçons by Francoise Hardy. You'd almost think someone handed them out as themes to the young songwriters. And both became hits unlike much of the other crap they were singing.
Sorry but thinking about this makes me angry.
I heard Heart of Stone in 1964 but never connected it to me. I knew who Francoise Hardy was but didn't really listen to her music.
So all this went over my head until very recently. I just had no idea i had ever met Mick or flown to London or anything - so being told I wasn't "invited" just adds another layer of irony.
I'm sure I made a fool of myself but I believe I was in my programmed "alter" who may have been acting as a prostitute or spy. I was 12, I had no clue what I was doing in London. They made me out to be older, ie at least 16. This would be very confusing for a child. Mick acted affectionate but the English will do that- they will pretend all sorts of things they don't really mean - thats why I hate the English to be honest. I probably got a dose of hypocrisy on that trip that has lasted me a lifetime.
Boom: home. Stun gun. Memory erased.
And then after my debriefing or whatever, I just went to sleep and they lied to me about the gift of the Mary Quant outfit pretending my mother had sewn it so I wouldn't ask questions or start to remember. What a mindfuck to play on a child. But that's what they did back then. In the name of National Security.
Message #2 on The Hollow White Cube - it said "you were 8??" Yes I was 8 in 1959. But I have no memory of the entire month. Maybe I spent it in a flotation tank in some laboratory. Or maybe I was being prostituted around Toronto. If so i might have worn makeup to make me look older. I'm sorry if you were tricked into having sex with an 8 year old girl. And later they probably blackmailed you- who knows? Maybe that's why you came to our house in 1965. I am guessing.
Then "Do you know Anastasia (name forgotten)? I love her". I don't know the Anastasia you mention.
And finally for Meet Leonard Cohen's Mystery Double, it said something like "we are totally in sync". Yes we are. As in "True Love" with Bing Crosby and Grace Kelly?
I think the person who wrote these messages is even more confused than I am. I'm sorry I deleted them but I think I captured the essence.